"Glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory I had with thee before the world was."


"A Parenthesis in Eternity" by Joel S. Goldsmith

"A Parenthesis in Eternity" pdf file


Chapter 8 - The Mystical I


The search for God most he condocted within, but this does not mean within our body because no amount of mental or physical probing has ever revealed the kingdom of God in any person's body. Therefore, we can quickly put aside any idea of searching for it in the spinal cord, stomach, heart, or even in the brain . The Kingdom is to be found within--within us.

This leads us to the questions: Who are we? What are we? Where are we? Most of us already know that we are not confined to our body, and once we know that, we have taken a tremendous leap forward on the spiritual path, because if we are convinced that we are not in the body, it should not take very long or involve overmuch reasoning to establish the truth that being out of the body and invisible, we must be incorporeal and spiritual, something other than body. So, when we seek the kingdom of God within, we are not seeking for it inside the body, not even in the mind: we are seeking within ourselves.

To understand the nature of life as consciousness reveals how it is possible for the kingdom of God to be within us, within our conciousness, within that part of us which knows, but within no particuar part of Our body. Consciousness alone constitutes the Self.

When we have realized ourselves as conscious ness and can look a our body in a mirror and thank God that we are not there, thank God that we have a body, but that we are not in the body--we are invisible--we shall begin to understand the Master's great teaching which are the "open sesame" to progress on the spiritual path. "Call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." How can the son of that Father be other than spiritual being, spiritual entity and identity, in corporeal and invisible being? How can that son of God be seen walking the earth? The truth is that our real Self is never seen by anybody: it is completely invisible. True, our body is visible, but we are not. We are hid with the Father.

The spiritual identity of our being is Melchizedek, the man who was never born, can never die, and is always invisible.

I am Melchizedek. I am He that was never born and will never die, Self-maintained and Self-sustained. I am the offspring of God, God Itself springing forth into manifestation and expression, God Itself appearing as individual being with individual identity.

Nobody has ever seen Melchizedek--not with his eyes. Nobody has ever seen you; nobody has ever seen me. You and I can see the forms as which we appear, but we cannot see the reality because that is invisible. We merely see a form, so big or so small, and who knows ten years from now what size it will be, or where it will be, and it makes no difference because it will not be the I of you or the I of me. So we look in the mirror with a new kind of vision: Now I know that I am not inside of this form: I am that which governs this form I am that which moves around in, and is identified by, this form, but I am not this form. I am in the bosom of the Father, and the Father is in me: we are both in heaven, both spiritual. God the Father and God the, Son are one, and that One remains our eternal spiritual identity, that part of us which was never born and can never die.

"Neither death, nor life .... shall be able to separate us from the love of God." There is a Self which is inseparable from the love and the life of God, and when we discover that Self, we find the God with which we are one: the one Life, one Love, one Substance, one Being.

The materialist cannot perceive this: the materialist looks in the mirror and says, "There am I," but on the spiritual path we search ourselves from head to foot and from foot back to head, and arrive at the conclusion, "There am I not."

If we are honest, we will have to admit that nobody knows us except ourselves, and perhaps more than ninety-nine per cent of us do not understand or know even ourselves. There is an area of our being that is not known- not to mother, husband, or wife. It is a secret place in us, the real, true individuality of us that nobody can quite perceive or understand, and th at we keep hidden from the world.

That part of us is the I, that I which is individual identity, that I which must have existed before conc eption, before there was a form as which to manifest, just as that I will continue to exist after I relinquish this form. This does not mean that I will be without form: it means that the form of that I will probably be of a different nature and texture. It is merely th is particular concept of form that will be outgrown and will disappear. But I, I continue forever.

Does this mean reincarnation? In many cases it does because if we are born into this particular plane once, there is no reason why we could not be born into it a dozen tim es if there is a valid reason for repeating the experience. The questions that must be answered by each one af us are: Why did I choose to come here? Why was I sent here? The answer depends on our point of view. Were we sent into, expression here? Did we choose to come into expression or did we just come? That you can only determine for yourself.

If in the light of my experience, I say to you what I am convinced is true, that we are sent here for a specific purpose and that that purpose is being worked out, there is no way that I can convey it to you so that you will believe it. It is up to you to arrive at that conviction within yourself, so that you can receive enlightenment on it.

My own conviction of the truth of this IS the result of my particular life experience, and even now as I try to compare my former life here on this plane with the one I am now living, the question arises How could th is happen? 'What could make such a th ing happen? How could one live two such completely different lives and be two such completely different persons in the same lifetime? Then I go back inside and ask: Is this really true? Am I not now the person that I always was, but unable to show outwardly what was inside because I did not know how to reach it? Is not this what I have always long for? Is not this what I have always visioned, but could not break through?

I can recall the day when, as a very young boy, my mother said me, "I know what's wrong with you, Joel. You're looking for God.

"Mom, how can you say that? I don't even know if there is a God.

"Oh, but I know. You're looking for God."

Certainly I was, and this life today is just the fruition. I came into this world looking for God, but no one would believe that judging by my first thirty-eight years. That hunger was all locked up inside of me. I would not have dared to tell that to anybody, although when I was nineteen, I could tell my mother, "I've discovered you're right. There is a God, but I can't find Him. No matter with whom I talk, they don't seem to know Him."

And she said, "Well, please don't stop, and when you've found Him, come and tell me"—and I hope I'm telling her.

That is one way I know that I am the same I that I was when I came into this world, the I that was born at a level that was seeking God-realization, and It had to break through the shell and find Itself.

This, I cannot prove to you. You will have to take my word for it, or doubt it until you have an experience of your own that shows you that this I of which you have been aware since you were bom really existed before you came forth into this experience. By divine Grace I have been shown other lives which I have lived, so I know that I was here before and I also know some of the experiences that I have had.

Every one of us in some time past, in some earlier form of evolution, was the animal man, then the mental man, and later was prepared to come into this particular state, evolving into some measure of spiritual man. All this takes time although it is really not a matter of time: it is a matter of evolution which in our experience appears as time.

This is because eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in what is known as the Garden-of-Eden experience has resulted in the false state of consciousness which we call humanhood, and in this state of humanhood we not only need one another, but we need things, we need monev. we need this, we need that. All human experience is a going out and a getting of things.

There is the man who is the purely animal man who goes after what he wants with hammer and tongs, using the sheer physical force of his body or the might of temporal weapons. Then there is the man who goes after things with his mind, and although most persons are honest and try to earn what they want, when these things do not come easily, they sometimes develop tricks to get what they want legally, but not too ethically, and if that does not work, they may go outside the law and steal or even kill to get what they want. On a larger scale, man resorts to a legal form of murder that is called war. Eventually, perhaps after many lifetimes, that man who has depended upon physical and mental force begins to rise to the status of spiritual man, and that is the story of unfolding consciousness.

Whether you or I will be born again depends on this question: Will there be a reason for it? There was a reason for my being bom this last time. It was because I had not made God-contact; the I had not broken through, and it took this experience to break the shell. What further lessons have to be learned that can be learned only in the context of a life-experience and whether there will be a need for me to be bom again will depend on whether there is a need for the particular service I have to offer on earth. If there is, I will reincarnate.

So with you. It is your unfolding consciousness that has brought you into this particular phase of experience sufficiently developed to open yourself to a spiritual approach to life. You have lived on the animal plane; you have lived on the mental plane; and now you are approaching the spiritual plane. Let us not forget that during all this time, there is still a little of the animal left in each one of us and a little of the mental also, but by now most of us are committed to the spiritual way.

Each one has formed for himself a body, a home in which he is brought up, and an activity in which to function, all of which serve the purpose of developing consciousness to the point of recognition or realization. Every experience of our childhood, the good as well as the bad, and every experience in our business or home life have been necessary to bring us to this unfoldment. We have always been func-tioning at the particular level necessary for our spiritual development because the purpose of our being here is to unfold spiritually, moving from experience to experience until the I that we are stands forth in all Its purity and fullness.

I is neither male nor female: I is I.I is neither bond nor free. I is the universal, supreme, divine, true identity of all of us, regardless of what form it may have assumed in this incarnation.

We must leam to live with this I in the midst of us, leam to look to It for all inspiration. If we need an idea for a book or for a paint-ing, for business or for law, regardless of what it is, the I encompasses it. And this I is within us. Then if it is necessary to find a book, a teacher, a publisher-—whatever it is—-when we turn within, the I will appear outwardly as the form necessary to our unfold-ment at any moment.

We never discard our form—our concept of form, yes. We discarded one such concept when we were three years of age, one when we were thirteen years, another at twenty-one, and still another when we were in the forties. So we keep on discarding these concepts of form, yet the I goes on forever, and the I always has form; I is always embodied as form. I can never lose Its form any more than I can lose my identity.

My true identity was never bom, and it will never die. It was present when I was conceived in my mother's womb, and it will be present and looking on when I pass from this scene, when my body seems to remain here as I progress onward. That I is the I of me which was born, that I is the I of me which was a child, that I is the I of me in my maturity, and I is the I of me in my ongoing. I immaculately conceived, Self-created, Self-maintained, Self-sustained, infinite, individual, eternal, and immortal.

That is my true identity, and that is the I that is looking out through my eyes. That is the I of me that now is a teacher and a healer, but that same I was with me when I was a salesman selling merchandise. That I is the same I that was there when I was in school. This same I kept watching these different stages of my unfoldment, but It could not function any faster than Joel could catch up with It. It is the I of me; it is the I of you; it is the I of our friend and the I of our foe.

All those who put their hand to the plow must determine never to turn back-—never. Lot's wife turned away; she looked back, away from God, and was lost. The way is straight and narrow, and few there be that enter, but those few are those who attain. And when they attain, what is it they have attained? The awareness that I in the midst of them is mighty, the realization that I has been with them since before Abraham, and that I will never leave them, nor forsake them.

I in the midst of me feeds me, clothes and houses me. I in the midst of me has never been limited. I in the midst of me has provided me with everything necessary, for I is not dependent on "man, whose breath is in his nostrils."</p>

I in the midst of me need not advertise Itself; I in the midst of me dwells secretly, sacredly, silently, abiding in God, and together we two, who are one, walk this earth.

I in the midst of me is the spiritual son of God, the Christ, Melchizedek— He who was never bom, who will never die, and who is and always will be invisible.

I am the invisible Presence within me. I am the invisible Presence which goes before me to make the way clear; I am the invisible Presence which walks beside me as protection. I am the invisible Presence which follows after me as a rear guard.

1 am the life of my friends, and I am the life of my foes: we are one, yet each, individual in expression—-one in essence, infinite, but individual in form and modes of expression.

I am the author in one, the composer in another. I am the healer in one, the minister in another. I am the painter in one, the poet in another. I am the inspiration unto my life and the inspiration to everyone who seeks inspiration. 1 can close my eyes at any time of the day or night and turn to this Infinite Invisible, to the I within and receive new illumination, new light, new health, new strength.

Inwardly and silently, say the word I softly, gently—I, meaning your Self, your true identity. Close your eyes to all outer appearanc and inside the inner sanctuary, alone with God, listen to the voice God as It speaks to you:

I say to you: Son, cease from depending upon man. I am here in the midst of you—this I that you have declared.

Listen to Me. Look unto Me, the I of your being, and be saved. Do not look to effects, do not look to persons, do not look to fame fortune, or position.

Look unto Me, for I in the midst of you am your bread, your staff of life. You need not earn your bread by the sweat of your brow. Work, but enjoy it. Work, and love it, but never feel dependent on it for your living, for I am living you: I am your living.

I am your Being. I have placed Myself as the Tree of Life in the midst of the garden which is your Self. I in the midst of you almighty.

Even your body is the temple of the living God which I am. Your body, your mind, your soul: these are all dedicated to Me, and I have ordained them. I have given to you your mind and your body. I am the substance of your body. I am that which beats your heart. I am that which governs every organ and function of your body. I did not make your body and then leave it to control itself. I made it in My image and likeness, of My substance. I knew you before you were conceived in the womb. I formed your very body in the womb. I have never left it, nor forsaken it.

Many times you have left Me. Many times you have made false gods: gods of gold and silver, gods of pills, powders, and plasters, and looked to them for health and joy. You have looked outside for pleasures, satisfaction, for peace, and yet I am the wine of inspiration. Seek Me while I may be found, and be at peace.

Does the creature talk back to the Creator? Does the clay talk to the potter? No! I am the potter, I am the creator, and all creation hearkens unto Me. The heavens declare My glory. The earth showeth forth My handiwork. Do you know that I have given you dominion over everything on earth, everything in the sky, everything in the waters and beneath the earth?

I am the way: live by way of Me. Do not live by way of the world. Do not live by way of form—-even so powerful a form as a hydrogen bomb. I am your high tower, and I am your fortress. Hide in Me, hide in the understanding that there is only one power, and I am that. Look unto Me and be saved—not by might, not by power. Put up your sword! Those who live by the physical or the mental sword will die. Live by My Spirit—not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit.

Dwell in Me; let Me dwell in you. If you dwell in Me, and if you let Me dwell in you, if you live in the recognition that I in the midst of you am your true identity, your eternal life, I will draw unto you whatever is necessary for your harmonious unfoldment, be it person, place, or thing.

Go into the inner sanctuary of your being and be quiet. Do not pray in public. Do not tell man what you need. Do not tell man what you would like to be. Do not tell man what you would like to do. Live in Me! Let Me live in you, and let Me be the invisible Presence that goes before you to prepare the way for you. Let Me go before you, silently, sacredly, secretly.

Do not be impatient if it takes a little time for you to reach home. You have already become involved with people and entangled in situations that you cannot leave suddenly. You will have to be led away from these without injury to the life, the well-being, or the comfort of others. You cannot have your life and well-being at the expense of others. That is not the law. "Love thy neighbor as thyself" is the law. That, you can do, if you look unto Me, if you understand that I in the midst of you am Self-sustained.

Do not be impatient if you have to take some long way around. I will bring you by a way you know not of. It will not always appear to you as a short cut; it will not always be without a few bleeding footsteps or even a cross, but nevertheless I am leading you through this world of illusion back to your Father's house which I am.

I have meat—be assured of that. "I have meat to eat that ye know not of." Do not let your mind get weary wondering how you are going to get a home, companionship, supply, or health. Be assured that I have meat. I already have meat, and wine, and water. Rest here, and let it come to you.

Do not try to attract supply-—not mentally, not physically. Just do your work each day, the work that is given you to do. Do it in the best way you know how, but do not do it for a living: do it for love. Let the living be the added thing. I, your Father which art in heaven, I, who am in the midst of you, I know your need before you do. It is my good pleasure to give you the kingdom if you abide in Me and let My word abide in you.

Live in Me, live in the realization that this I in the midst of you is God, this I in the midst of you is ordained of God, for God is both the Father and the Son, God is both the giver and the gift. Trust this I at the center of your being. Trust It with your secret desires, but do not let your secret desires be aimed at persons, places, or things. Your secret desires must be for rest in Me, peace in Me, satisfaction in Me, joy in Me.

Tabernacle with Me, for I in the midst of you am your life. I am That which prospers you. I am That which draws unto you all that is necessary for your spiritual development and unfoldment.

If there be forty years of wilderness before you reach the Promised Land, be patient, be patient. You have made this wilderness through which you must be led. If there is the experience of the cross, accept it. You have brought it upon yourself, and it is just another way out of the wilderness. Whether you make your bed in hell or in heaven, I in the midst of you will never leave you, nor forsake you. Even if you are the thief dangling on the cross, I will take you with me this very day into paradise.

Do not fear effects, do not fear outer conditions. I, the I of your being, I am that part of you which was never bom. I brought you into this experience; I will carry you through it; and I will carry you on into the next experience, even unto the end of the world.

Have I been so long with you, and you have not known Me? Have I been so long with you, and you have not recognized that I am Melchizedek, I am the Christ, I am the spiritual Son? When you have gone far enough you wUl understand that I am God the Father as well as God the Son. And then you will understand oneness.

You will understand that because I am infinite, there are no evil powers. The evil pictures that you see and hear and touch and taste and smell are made of the fabric of nothingness, the fabric of hypnotism, the fabric of suggestion. Do not fear them. They have no entity; they have no identity; they have no real being. Only understand them to be of the fabric of mental illusion—nothingness— for I in the midst of you am the only power and the only presence.

"Love the Lord thy God with aU thy heart, and thy neighbor as thyself." I am He, and I in the midst of you am the I in the midst of your neighbor. Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these neighbors, you have done it unto Me, for I am he, even as I am you. Inasmuch as you have not done it unto the least of these, you have not done it unto Me. Anything that you have withheld from anyone, you have withheld from yourself, for I am your Self, and I am your neighbor's Self. I, God at the center of your being, am He; I, God, am your neighbor.

I am Melchizedek. Everything that has form must pay tithe and honor to Me. I am Melchizedek, the unborn, the undying. I am the Spirit of God in you. I am your true identity. I am the very Soul of your being, the very life of your being.

"Awake thou that sleepest." Awake, and when you awaken, you will see Me as I am, and you will be satisfied with this likeness!

On the spiritual path, we make a transition from living under the law to living under Grace, and consciously remember that we are not under the law. This means every kind of law: medical law-—infection, contagion, and heredity; theological law-—punishment for sins of the past or of the present, or sins of the parents or of the grandparents. We no longer live under the laws of matter; we no longer live under the laws of mind; we no longer live under the laws of theology: we live under Grace.

Thy grace is my sufficiency in all things—Thy grace, not money, not my heart, liver, or lungs. Thy grace is my sufficiency in all things —in health, in supply, in companionship, in freedom, in joy, in peace, in dominion.

Thy grace! 1 no longer live under the law. I do not live by taking thought for supply, for God's thoughts are far greater than my thoughts. I live by every thought that proceeds out of the mind of God, by every Word, which is Grace. 1 live my life listening to that still small voice.

I am the child of God, heir of God, joint-heir to all the heavenly riches. I have been given dominion over this body. I am free. I have found my freedom in the realization of my true identity as I. As the child of God, I am free, and I no longer live under the law of limitation, but under Grace.

As human beings we are in the tomb where the Christ lies buried, and all that the world sees is this living corpse in which we are entombed. Within us, in this tomb of human selfhood, is the Christ, and in certain moments of our lives, such as can happen to us this moment, an experience takes place, and then a few hours later when we look in the mirror, we suddenly find that our eyes have been opened:

I have been limited by a finite body and a bank account, circumscribed by their dimensions. Even my wealth was a tomb in which I have been buried, but now I am not in these: I am risen. I am no longer buried in the tomb of a body, nor am I any longer subject to its limitations.

This form is now a vehicle unto me, just like my automobile. And this money-—this also is a tool, an instrument, and a medium of exchange, something that has been given to me to use.

I am no longer in the tomb of finite belief: I have risen. I am no longer entombed in a body or a checkbook. Now I am outside of these: they are my servants, the tools given me for my everyday life.

Do not fear to step out on the waters of Spirit. Remember, you can only fail, and there is no disgrace in failing. There is only disgrace in not trying. Everybody stumbles a little bit as he goes forward. Even Jesus Christ was subject to temptations up to the last moment. Do not be ashamed of the temptations that assail you. It needs must be that we stumble and fall, that we be subject unto temptation, for each of these strengthens us in our ongoing until we reach the Mount of Transfiguration, and there having "died," we are reborn of the Spirit, and those of our disciples who have risen sufficiently behold us as we are, in our pure spiritual perfection, even the perfection of the body.

Through Grace we attain a point of transition, and then our friends and relatives say, "You have changed. Something wonderful has come into your life."


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